Revenge, served steaming...

Tattoo Artist Facing Civil Lawsuit

Two trailer park residents in Dayton, Ohio are going to be battling this out in court over the next few months.

Tattoo artist, Ryan L. Fitzjerald was hit with a $100,000 lawsuit last week by his ex-girlfriend Rossie Brovent.  She claims that her boyfriend was supposed to tattoo a scene from Narnia on her back but instead tattooed an image of a pile of excrement with flies buzzing around it.

Apparently Ryan found out that she had cheated with a long-time friend of his and this was his way of getting even.  Originally Rossie tried to have Ryan charged with assault but it turns out this crafty tattoo artist got her to sign a consent form prior to the tattoo and it said that the design was ‘at the artists discretion’, she claims; “he tricked her by drinking a bottle of cheap wine with me and doing tequila shots before I signed it and got the tattoo”.  “Actually I was passed out for most of the time, and woke up to this horrible image on my back.”

Squirrels Take:  I'm not really sure what would be worse here, a tattoo of poop on your back or a Narnia scene.  Either way, the girl was bound to like like a moron.  White trash sure is entertaining, isn't it?

11/30 EDIT:  Turns out that this is fake.  Funny story either way...

Credit to VeryWeirdNews.com
http://www.veryweirdnews.com/tattoo-artist-facing-civil-lawsuit/

English is Hard

No Theme Today

Just random crap that made me chuckle...

While she was 'flying' down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait.

The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, 'What's your hurry?'

To which she replied, 'I'm late for work.'

'Oh yeah,' said the cop, 'what do you do?'

'I'm a rectum stretcher,' she responded.

The cop stammered, 'A what?............

'A rectum stretcher!'

'And just what does a rectum stretcher do?'

'Well,' she said, 'I start by inserting one finger in the rectum, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet'

'And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?' he asked

'You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge...'

Traffic Ticket $398.00

Court Costs $45.00

Look on the Cop's Face....... PRICELESS

Andy Reid Sucks

The game is still on.  I just watched Andy pass on a 4th & less than 1 on the 2 and I'm disgusted.  I've had it with with this stupid fat ginger morman assclown who only had success on the coattails of Jim Johnson's defensive prowess.

How many more times will we have to endure another stupid pass play with inches to go, misspent timeouts, failed trick plays, miscommunication of playcalls, and his general arrogance at noon on Mondays?  I hope I can count the times on one hand.


I did, however, thoroughly enjoy the 'Andy Sucks' chant that followed from the 67,594 phaithful in attendance.
EDIT 9:30CST:  Found a movement I'd be interested in joining, if I didn't hate Facebook more than Andy Reid:  http://www.facebook.com/pages/Fire-Andy-The-Movement/170827936338904


Coo Coo Ca Choo, Asshole.

Well done WVU

Watch your language

Thank you, hippie protestors, for giving me so much material.  I really do enjoy when you get sprayed...

Happy Thanksgiving

With my family spread out in CA, TX, and snowbird parents, I'm heading down to Matagorda on the Texas gulf coast for Thanksgiving with a cajun family I'm friends with. Mmmmm... 1 fried turkey, 1 smoked turkey, and a whole other bird in the gumbo... I'll get a little beach time, golf, and adult beverages to ice the cake.   Did I mention there's fewer and fewer things I miss about SEPA?

Wednesday's Animated Absurdity

Don't mess with the squirrel...

Want to see something REALLY scary?

Intemperate Tuesday

Tuesday's humor falls somewhere between LOL and WTF

Monday's Musings

Thanks Gil

Welcome, visitors from SpencerBlog, and thanks for the attention Gil.

In honor of your visit, I'll put on my new tee.

Now off to find today's musings...

Welcome to Memedom, Casual Pepper Spray Cop

I found humor in the original photo (above) of this cop peppering the protesters, but this made me pee a little

Meme credit to to knowyourmeme.com

FML, the Eagles Won

Yep, I'm an Eagles phan.

Yeah, I wanted them to lose.

Why?

This fat waste of sideline space:

I hate Andy Reid.  I become ill when they show his stupid ginger face on TV and I've been disgusted repeatedly over his ineptitude losing games.  

Winning tonight takes away the possibility of him being fired tomorrow and maybe until next year.

I want to hurl...

Sunday Funnies

Lets get this started

Why am I here?

It's pretty simple.  I feel like talking & don't really care if anyone reads.  I've got my own take on life and some things to say about life and the state of the world.  I will state is bluntly and without filter, so I've taken on an alter-ego in the form of Secret Squirrel to protect my physical life from my internet one.  I do this not to be cute, but simply not to chance having my work life negatively affected by comments made here.  I've worked very hard to affect my career because someone I know disagrees with me.

What is a Secret Squirrel?  

For me, the name has a couple of meanings and fits my e-persona well.

Secret Squirrel was a late-60's cartoon super agent that fought crime via a host of gadgets and with the help of his sidekick, Morocco Mole:

The second definition of Secret Squirrel lies within the higher clearances and darker operations of the military, or simply the missions, people, and equipment that can't be talked about.  I enjoyed the reruns of the show growing up and had some exposure to the latter when I served, so the shoe fits.

What will be see here?

Random musings, memes, and observations.  I've got a dry/sick sense of humor to share, thoughts on politics and religion that may make this a 1 view trip for some, and observations made during my daily grind.  Not everyone will like what I have to say but I'll try to say it objectively so they can be objectively annoyed when they leave.